The Long Messy Slog Out of Hell
Friday night was the first day I intentionally cheated on my diet. I was visiting my mother, helping with some house repairs. When dinner time rolled around, she suggested ordering something for delivery. My first thought was to go to the grocery store and buy some salad stuff. While the place she orders from has a salad – it’s iceberg lettuce with a few tomatoes on it and some shards of carrots – it’s hardly the type of salad I make for myself. They also carry steak and cheese subs, which I normally would have instantly said “yes” to a year ago. I considered ordering one and just throwing away the roll. That seemed wasteful though.
I briefly considered cheating with a big slice of pizza. Technically, I could have pizza and just slide everything off and toss out the bottom and crust. But most pizza places put tons of sugar in the pizza sauce.
“What about buffalo wings?” my mom asked.
Yes! Buffalo wings are allowed on my diet! I’ve made them several times in the last few months. Throw some chicken wings in the oven for a few dozen minutes, take ’em out and toss them with a mixture of Texas Pete’s Hotsauce (no carbs) and a stick of butter (huzzah butter). Mmmm, tasty.
Then a thought occurred to me. What if they used some sort of low-grade artificial sugar-laden sauce? I was hungry now and my mind told me to chance it.
“Barbecue, hot or mild sauce?” asked my mom.
“Barbecue will undoubtably have sugar in it, and I’m not in the mood for spicy. Mild,” I replied.
The order arrived and we sat down. I opened the cover and despaired.
Not only was the sauce thick (meaning it had some sort of thickening agent of either sugar and/or starch) but the chicken itself was breaded and deep fried, most likely in a cheap hydrogenated oil. These were not the buffalo wings I was looking for.
I would have been better off getting the pizza.
Now I was stuck. I was very hungry and I didn’t want to offend my mother by dumping the wings in the garbage. This dinner was her treat. I made the gamble and lost. I had placed myself in the situation and I would have to deal with it. I ate the buffalo wings and tried not to beat myself up internally about it. For a cheat, they weren’t the food fantasy I would have chosen.
I guess the reason it bothered me so, is that I still have a long ways to go. I’m getting impatient. It’s a very long road and while I’m glad I started months ago, I still want to be free of all this weight – *now*.
I have to keep a steady pace. Steady as she goes. I have to remind myself that I am eating healthy. I’ve successfully avoided the jagged rocks of metabolic syndrome and the whirlpool of diabetes. Huzzah. If I stay the course, I’ll reach my destination without a doubt.
No more ordering out for delivery. Drive to the grocery store and get a salad. Lesson learned.