I’m Starting to Get Survivors Guilt

I’m starting to get survivors guilt looking through all your blogs, people. It’s an absolute horror show on the Weight Loss tag. I’ve been eating healthy since April. I haven’t binged, cheated, or felt cravings. I’m starting to wonder why exactly that is. I quit sugar in April. Never had another grain since. Wait, I did cheat back in May. I had a dreamsicle from the neighborhood ice cream man. But I think that’s more because it was the first time I was able to run and catch the bastard, since he never swings around to our court. I was a hot day and the wife and I were working outside on the lawn. I had originally started after him to get my wife an ice cream, but two blocks later I was so exhausted and drenched with sweat, I “rewarded” myself with a dreamsicle. But that was the last time.

For me, quitting sugar is a lot like how I quit smoking. I don’t even entertain the notion of lighting up a smoke. It’s been about four or five years now since I quit. I’ll never put another cigarette in my mouth again – and that’s how I see sugar (and most grains). It’s just not worth it to put it in my body. I don’t even try to make “fake” low carb food stuffs to mimic what I used to eat. That’s a lot like using one of those electronic cigarette – just a slippery slope waiting to happen. No thanks. I also successfully gave up artificial sweeteners. That too, seemed like it could be abused. And the strange thing is,

I don’t miss any of it.

So when I read these blogs, I feel sorta helpless. I like being supportive, but I have no idea how to react when they write about failing. Addiction is bad nightmare, no matter what the substance is. “Keep at it,” seems a bit patronizing and “liking” their post seems a bit awkward. I guess I can only sit back and watch. I do hope for the best for them. And the blogs that I actively follow, I really want them to succeed. I like happy endings. Who doesn’t?

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About Travis Estrella

Polymedia Artist, Life Student, Humanist, Science Advocate, Whackjob Magnet, and Malarkey Detective.

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